Thursday, October 23, 2008


Tonight Ryan came home and we had a visitor. As we were sitting talking with her, Ella decides to ride the horsie, aka my leg. As my leg was getting a work out, she starts counting. I'm half listening to her as I am carrying on a conversation with our guest and all of a sudden I hear Ryan say "Holy Cow!" I looked at him and he is in complete amazement.

R: "She can count!"
M: "I know"
R: "She can count to 10"
M: "I know"
R: "When did she learn that trick?"

I'm sitting here thinking, it's not a trick. It's something she is suppose to be doing honey. He was wanting to know how long she has been counting to 10 and I told him for a while now. He keeps telling me I'm full of it, and I'm not. She has been counting for a while, just only on her terms!

I love to sit and watch her. She loves to dance. Yes, I dance with her. We do the hot dog dance among many. When I am off on Friday's we turn on a mixed cd real loud and start dancing around the kitchen. She tries to sing, but poor girl, she tries her best. I love to watch her excitement and face as we dance. It is all smiles and beautiful!! Tanner and I used to dance when he was little. But then he got too big and I had a hard time holding him as we danced. I look back and wish he were still that age and we could do that again. He too always was smiling. I loved his little round face that was always bright with a smile and happiness.


My camera is gone. I have no idea where it is or where it could be. I have looked everywhere I know to look and it is gone!! It had some pics on it that I wanted to download and now I can't. I was wanting a new camera, but not at the expense of loosing my old one!! I'm going completely nuts looking for it. I'm not totally convinced that Ryan did something with it, because it has some pics that I have of him and he is mad at me for taking them (he he he!)

Let me explain that... Ella and I were at home one Saturday. I had just pulled out all of our halloween decorations and was going through our stuff. I found our remote controlled rat. Ryan amd Tanner weren't at home and Ella told me the rat was ugly. I said "I know, looks scary doesn't it." She said yea and that it scared her. I said "Oh, it won't hurt you, but I bet we can scare daddy with it." She start giggling and says "Yea." Great, we've got a plan and she will not sit in the floor in our kitchen because she is afraid it will get her. So she and I are perched on the cabinet by the back door waiting for our prey to come in. FINALLY, they arrive and Tanner zips by. Ryan looks at Ella and I as we sit smiling and then jumps straight up. He then saw the flash of my camera and realized we got him on camera jumping at a stupid remote controlled rat!! Ella laughed and said "That was funny."

So now I'm sad, because it had some pics on it, that I really wanted and I can't find them. And now I'm going to have to go buy film for my other camera so I will have halloween pics. Dang it!! I'm not giving up on finding it though. I know it is at my house somewhere. It has to be.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Real Dreams

Have you ever had a dream that feels so real that you wake up thinking it really did happen? Yea, me too. Last night as a matter of fact. I was having a crazy dream that I was fighting someone and I was beginning to get tired wondering if the fight was ever going to be over. Well, I finally woke up and realized I was really fighting. I was fighting with Ryan. You know, the little girlie fight where you do nothing but slap each others hands. Yea, that would be Ryan and I. I think that it just a defense mechanism that I have when I sleep. Since I never know what I am going to wake up to, I'm already in self defense mode. Crazy?!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

6 & 6

I was curious to see which picture was in my computer....I know I'm a little slow, but I have been off since last Thursday and today is my 1st day back. Here is my 6th picture in my 6th file....This really makes me sad!! To know she will never be that little and INNOCENT again.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Recharged and Energized Again

As I sit here typing, I have a two year old saying, "Tanner just told me no" I have no idea what he told her no about, but I'm sure he didn't meet her demand right then.

I had an awesome weekend with Ryan. I needed some time away with just the two of us. An opportunity arose to meet some of our wonderful friends at the Tech ballgame, so we jumped at the chance. The morning started at 7:45 for me and 8:30 for the rest of my family. Ella came and crawled in bed and went right back to sleep, I got up while there was still peace and no chaos. I was getting their clothes together and stuff ready for the day as I knew that my mom and dad would be doing for me. Tanner had pictures at 10:30 and a game at 11:00. I gathered his stuff up as well as Ella's bags and clothes. I walk into our bedroom getting ready to jump in the shower and Ryan looks at me and smiles...Wow! It's been a long time since he has done that!! Then this puzzled look comes over his face. He looks to his right and then back at me. Looks to his right again and back at me. This look has yet to vanish on his face. He looks at me again and this time raises up...yes, honey, you are playing with Ella's hair and not mine. I go on into the bathroom and just as I am climbing in the shower, he tells me, oh by the way, we need to be gone by 9. By 9? Are you kidding me? Both kids are still asleep, I haven't had a shower and I still need to get all of my stuff done!! Oh well!! Rush around and get out of the house, meet mom and dad and leave all of the kids stuff with them. We are heading out of town and I look down and realize, I will be Ryan's girlfriend today and not his wife!! All of my jewelry was left on my nightstand, my wedding ring included.

We get to Lubbock and go the long way around to Jones stadium. I tried to tell him to go a different way, but like with last time, he went a different way. would think he would know better by now! Finally get there and watched an awesome game. I loved the traditions that Tech has, enjoyed watching the band, and really enjoyed watching Tech win. It is so awesome to see everyone in the stands getting into the game. It wasn't just the student section, it was everyone, young and old alike. Tanner is a lot like the Mills' men-tight lipped about how much he really likes it! At one point during the game, we were surrounded by kids, mostly high school, but some jr. high mixed in and it was hillarious to listen to them. I am so glad that I do not have to go back to that age ever again. It also opened up Ryan's eyes, as to what he is in for with his little girl as there were mostly girls in front of us for a while. We hated to part with our friends, but knew they had to go, next time we will go eat after the game with them!! We did get to meet his parents for supper and had a great visit with them. Our romantic evening ended with us at Home Depot!! I needed a fan for our bedroom and a vacuum cleaner, however, we wound up with a digital thermostat!! We left and came home and I got to sleep late on Sunday. I actually slept way too late. But I needed that time to recharge.

Yesterday was spent doing laundry only to still have 10 more loads to go today and still in trouble for not having clean clothes for everyone!! Jeez, you would think a little gratitude would be nice simply because he did have clean underwear!! Oh well, today will be spent doing more laundry and ironing and maybe a little house cleaning...noticed I said maybe!!

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Kids in trouble

I usually try not to say too much about my job, for many reasons, but lately it is all I have thought about. Mostly because I have been so busy with my job and not as much time with my family. My job requires traveling and I hate missing my family. Ryan, I will tell you now and a thousand times more that I am sorry I have been gone so much and you have been wonderful through this difficult time. I love you more than anything.

Anyway, lately with my job, I have been dealing a lot with kids, and I say kids because they are under the age of 20 but over the age of 17 and the law considers them adults. As I sit and type this, I pray that my children will not do some of the things that I have had to deal with. There are some kids who come from good homes, or at least I think they are good homes, who are completely screwed up. By screwed up, I mean into drugs, into violence, drug trafficking and that scares me. Then I have some kids whose home life I'm sure is less than "normal", who are the same way. There was a kid who lives in Oklahoma who was placed on probation for Possession of a Controlled Substance. The controlled substance he possessed was shrooms. This kid is 18 years old and is on felony probation. He lives at home with his mom and dad, mom and dad pay for him to go to college and will probably wind up paying his probation fine and court costs for him. At the same time, I had a 20 year old who was placed on felony probation for Possession of Marijuana. He is the oldest of 4 boys and he lives with his uncle in Florida. He had to drop out of school to start work to help support his brothers. He will more than likely spend the next 5 years trying to get this paid off. The reason I mention these two particular stories, is this is just not happening in Carson County. Most of you know there is a particular case that I have been dealing with and the parent(s) seem to ignore what everyone is telling them. They still think that their child is fine and he is not. Not by any means. As a parent, if anyone sees either of my children do something they are not suppose to be doing, please get on to them or tell me and I will get on to them. I do not want my children to go down a wrong path. I do not want my head to be buried in the sand or minimize what my child is doing. My parents kind of had the philosophy that it takes a village to raise a child. If I did something wrong, someone got on to me, whether it was my parents, a neighbor or someone in the community. I know I made some wrong decisions in my life, but those decisions did not land me in jail and in serious trouble. I'm trying to raise my children to be smart, not to be tempted, to stand up for what they believe in, and to do what is right, even if it means they will not be popular. (I'm starting to sound like my parents!) My ramblings probably do not make much sense to anyone but me. And I think I have been spending way too much time at work. But I am serious if you see my children acting up or doing something they are not suppose to, please correct them or let us know.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

The Weekend Already?

I cannot believe that today is Saturday and the beginning of my weekend. I had a pretty good week, even though it started too early in the morning, Monday was court in Wellington. Drive to Wellington, only to turn around and come right back. Tuesday was spent catching up and getting a lot of things done since I knew I would be gone the rest of the week. Wednesday started really early for me, actually, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday all started the same way!! I got up at 5 (which I am no way used to!) and was gone from the house by 5:30 or 5:45 those three mornings. I had training in Amarillo which is one of my favoirte conferences to attend. It is the Women in Criminal Justice Conference. It has some really good speakers from around the area who come every year and discuss several different topics. It also gives women in the criminal justice field an opportunity to meet and talk with other women in our field. There were several women who I talk with on a regular basis and after several years finally was able to meet them face to face. Some of the speakers I know personally and it is awesome to be able to hear them speak at a conference. One man in particular, now works for the Carson County Sheriff's Department. He has stories upon stories from his career in law enforcement. The most facinating thing about him, he analyzes handwriting and has for several years. He has seen the ransom note in the Jon Benet Ramsey case, he has seen the handwriting of Charles Manson (his handwriting is not legibile), he has the handwriting from John Hinkley, and the list goes on and on. About two years ago, he asked me to sign my name and he would analyze it....He did and it was right on!! It amazed me just how my signature could tell him so much about me. Another speaker was Peter Harrell Jr.. If you are ever able to hear him speak, I encourage you to attend. He speaks on several different topics. Two topics he spoke about were Verbal Judo and Gender, Culture and Communication. It was awesome. he broke down a lot of misconceptions about our culture, the American Culture. His speech made me think about the different cultures we are in contact with every day and how to communicate with them without feeling awkward or making the other person feel awkward. Another one of my favorite speakers, Dr. Harry Hueston, from WT came and spoke about how safe is our workplace. Brought a lot of interesting things to the table. If an active shooter were to come into our place of business, where ever it might be, what would you do and even if you had a plan, would you be able to carry it out? What to do to survive an active shooter and how to help those who are in the line of fire. He talked about the Virginia Tech shootings and really amazed us all.

Friday, I got to go to my conference, but then had to leave to go to court. I get to court and find out that I will have several pleas in Carson County. Several? Oh boy!! I was in Panhandle by myself and wound up doing 8 pleas that day. Keep in mind, we were under the assumption that it was just a docket call with no pleas likely. I know going to Carson County could entail having pleas, I thought I was ready. I finally got to leave Panhandle at 5:45 and made it home at 7:20 and I was starving. But you know, even after it was all said and done, the previous days and the reflection on it made my trip home pretty good. What made the trip even sweeter was returning home to my family. They are the reason I drove every day instead of staying up in Amarillo, mostly to help Ryan out!!