Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Time Passing Too Fast

I know that time starts flying in about April. We have birthdays, Easter, and start to the end of school activities. This year seems to be going faster than I want. Tanner has been interested in hunting and shooting. Since I carry and I have been around guns all of my life, Tanner has asked more questions and has shown an interest in shooting. So my dad and I took Tanner out to shoot and considering how hard the wind was blowing he did really well for his first time out. He asked if he could go back out again. While we were shooting I left my camera in the care of my daughter. I haven't decided if that is a good thing yet or not. ha!
Beginning in April we have birthday parties and Easter parties and Easter. This year, my dad's birthday, Tanner's birthday and Easter all fell within a week. I also did Ella's star attraction around the end of March which was a week before. She does enjoy being the center of attention at home, but at school is a little different. This year, her dad was given the privilege of reading to them instead of me!
Easter hunts and easter baskets filled with goodies and candy!
Then birthday fun! This year Tanner wanted to invite a few friends to go eat pizza and bowl. So two of his friends went with us and I had so much fun listening to their conversations. They were even super good with Ella, helping her bowl and even letting her sit with them.
We cannot forget gymnastic recitals and end of year parties. Ella had so much fun at gymnastics and enjoys going.
Ella's last day at Ms. Angie's was harder than I expected. This is her last year with Ms. Angie before starting kindergarten and we have enjoyed our days with her.
This is also Tanner's last year of elementary. He will start Jr. High next year and I really don't know how I feel about that yet. I let Ella take pictures of his last playday.
Two weeks ago we had Ella's graduation and it is official, she is a kindergartner. My baby isn't a baby anymore, but she is becoming a beautiful girl!!
This Thursday is Tanner's Walk of Fame through the halls of the elementary. He is growing and becoming a handsome man whether I like it or not. I just hope I give him the right guidance for his life. So this has been our two months in a nut shell. Enjoy your summer as we will and be safe!!

Thursday, April 5, 2012


I have posted lots of blogs and most are up beat. But let's get real. Life isn't always up beat. Not that my life is bad nor that it is not great, but there are times where I struggle. In the past year I have been brutally honest with myself and took a hard look at where I needed to be and to be honest, I have struggled with it. Financially, emotionally, physically and spirtually. However, I am coming around a curve and I see this beautiful light at the end of where I want to go, but there are hills and right now, I am still struggling spirtually.

I was born and raised in church and when I went to college I attended church but not like I should have been and was no where close to where I needed to be in my faith. I struggled and saw the light after my son was born and began the journey to where I should have been. Along the way, I lost sight again. As a family we had trials and I was working on trying to put our life as a family in God's hands. Wow, talk about a test of my faith. I struggled then and struggled for a long time after. Then another chapter in our life began. I started putting God back into my life with me and the kids and really started digging deep. I have really started talking to God and asking for his help. I have seen his answers and proof that God has been working in my life. Believe me, I know and thank him daily for my beautiful, healthy kids, my amazing and loving family. I am healthy enough to work 2 jobs to provide for my family and have been fortunate enough to have a house that keeps us warm and shelter from the storms. My attitude on life has changed. I ask for help in being a more positive role model for my kids and be the best possible mother for them. Believe me when I say, I know God is working in me, because I'm not as stressed out as I used to be and the kids see me laugh, which used to not happen too often, but now is a daily occurence.

I say that to say, that when I am struggling spirtually it is because of my relationships with others. It is how many times do I continue to turn my other cheek just to have it happen again? How many times do I continue to forgive or at some point do I completly walk away? I know He instructs us to forgive but I question if I am a fool for continuing to forgive and turn the other cheek? I feel like the people I forgive think it's ok to continue to do the things they do and expect me to forgive them because I have done so in the past or I have turned the other cheek.

I also struggle with casting all my worries on Him because I feel some of my worries are no where near as important as a little boy who is fighting for his life. Or for the mother who wishes for a child. I feel like I am being so selfish for worrying and asking for help when there are others struggling more than I am. I have prayed and am continuing to pray and asking for guidance. I have faith that one day I won't be struggling with this and I know that, but it seems to be what I struggle with the most.

But I am not taking for granted the beautiful life he has provided for me and thank Him for ALL the amazing blessings in my life.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

My Promise

My promise to my kids is that I will be your mom and I will love you until the day I die. I will do the best I can to provide for you both. I will kiss you goodnight. We will say bedtime prayers. We will give thanks for what we have and cherish the time we get to be together. I will be cheering you on and comforting you when you are sad. I will help with your homework as long as I can and I will wait up til you come home. I will worry til I know you are safe. We will be a family and we will go to church. We will laugh and have fun.

I am not perfect by any means. I will forget packing pajamas or toothbrushes (because I forget my own!). I will not always have the right answer. I will be wrong at times. I will make mistakes and for that I am sorry. I'm not the smartest person out there, but I will do my best to help you figure it out. I may get tired but it doesn't mean I don't want to sit with you and read with you. We may not have everything, but we have everything we need.

Always remember, you are MY CHILDREN and I LOVE YOU more than you will ever know!