12 Steps

The other night I was watching a show that was dealing with drug addicts and alcoholics. I love watching these shows because in my every day job I typically spend a lot of time trying to help them and I like watching other people's stories with whom I am not connected. That night they were revisiting some of the addicts 150 days out of rehab. One guy said that he had a hard time in the past remaining sober, but this time he realized he never admitted he was powerless. For what ever reason that stuck with me. The next morning I woke up and while I was taking a shower I remembered him saying that and realized that it applies to life in general. Then I started thinking about the 12 steps of AA. I kind of knew the steps because let's face it, I deal with people in treatment and I deal with their treatment process. But as I was standing in the shower, I was slowly realizing how the 12 steps of AA can be applied to life.

1. Admit we are powerless over alcohol-that our lives have become unmanageable. 2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. 4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. 5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. 6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. 7. Humbly ask Him to remove our shortcomings. 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. 9. Made direct amends to such people where ever possible except when to do so would injure them or others. 10. Continue to take personal inventory and when we are wrong promptly admit it. 11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. 12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, try to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

If you take out alcohol or addiction, to me these are steps for daily life as well. I am powerless and I know there is a Power greater than myself who can restore my sanity. I am making a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God. I may not like to make a moral inventory of myself, but in order to become who I need to be I know this is a must. I know I have been wrong and have stumbled through life and am ready to have God remove all these defects of my character. I humbly ask him daily to remove my shortcomings. As a Christian I need to look to make amends with those I have hurt and be willing to be Christ like every day. I know I need to take personal inventory daily and be willing to admit when I am wrong and be willing to pray daily and talk with God daily. After learning and continuing to learn I realize there are many more lost souls who need to hear God's word and I know I need to apply the principles I have learned into my daily life.

I by no means am perfect or want to be. I just want to be the best person, mother, daughter, sister I can. I really have no explanation for why they clicked with me when they did. But it's kind of like a light turned on. There was a reason why I was watching what I was watching. Please understand that this is just my way of seeing things I needed to be seeing. That this is kind of my "AHA" moment. I have been studying and reading and learning and talking about my faith and my religion and I am sure I will have many more of those moments and I welcome them with open arms. I have had several of those moments already and each one prepares me for the next. I must say, I feel more at peace every day with my daily struggles.